Saturday, December 5, 2009

How can I relieve the stress of my niece and nephew ages 10 and 6 after school so they can get homew

The oldest almost never has homework but the younger one does. He's in first grade and is completely stressd out when he gets home.I've tried naps and snacks but something seems to be missing.He pouts and crys and sometimes is defiant.I try to observe my own behavior hoping I'm not the cause.What can I do to make this go a little smoother ? I'm not expecting miracles and would appreciate some positive input.There are five hours between the time he gets home and his bedtime. Thank you Sid



How can I relieve the stress of my niece and nephew ages 10 and 6 after school so they can get homework done.?greek theater



Sit down and talk to him ar her. Hve them tell you about their day, their teacher, classmates, and even what they don't like about their school. I f they know that they can talk to you and you will listen they will be able to get their feelings out and be a lot happier.



Also get them a punching bag. If they ever get to the place that their sssssssssooooooooo mad let them get their anger out by punching the bag not someone else.



How can I relieve the stress of my niece and nephew ages 10 and 6 after school so they can get homework done.?performing arts show opera theater



It sounds like he's frustrated with school. I'd talk to his teacher to see if she notices anything out of the ordinary with his school day, i.e., do other kids pick on him, does he need extra help in the classroom to understand what's going on?



My son acted the same way in 2nd grade and he ended up having a learning disability similar to dyslexia, which made him very frustrated because he was totally lost in all his subjects except math.



I hope you can get to the bottom of this. It really breaks your heart to see a child so upset.
I think first grade is a really hard year because there is just so much learning going on and by the time kids get home their little brains are maxxed out. Is there a special thing he really likes to do after school? I would say - OK, every day after school it is your job to do your homework - when it is finished you can do this special thing. Reward charts work well too - let him get a sticker for every day he gets homework done with no whining - then reward week's worth of stickers with special thing. I would also make sure that the homewrok that he is getting is appropriate for his age - typically HW should be @ 10 min. for every grade - if he has much more than that I would take it up with his teacher. Also - you could let them have 30 min. play hard time before HW starts - get the wiggles out and then do HW.
make the homework a game. You know like making it fun for a young one
snacks are good, but try taking him outside to play rather than naps. only for about 20 min. my children would stop at a nearby park for 15-20min after school. they would snack on the way home. i always told them if they wanted to keep going to the park, then they had to help me by doing their homework the minute they got in the door. they sit still for so long and have to what their told all day. it helps to let off a little steam in the fresh air.
Put your foot down in a nice way, its possible, i watched my friends kids that were this age and they both had ADD... On the way home from school i told them the game plan (important step so they know what to expect) as soon as we got to my house i gave them a snack. Then we sat down with homework I sat right beside them and pretty much tutored them with what they didnt understand. I let them know right out of the gate we were going to sit there till it was done, and that i wasnt going to give up on them. When they were done i gave them a peice of candy (sugar free sence they were ADD kids) Then they were allowed to play on the computer or the play station or what ever they wanted to do. At first they might be a little bit upset that your putting your foot down, but tell them that you WONT let them do the fun stuff till the work is done, thats how it is in the real world, if you dont do your work what happens? You dont get your bills paid and you dont get to go shopping or what not. Just let them know that your not kidding and your not backing down, and that their is a reward if they just do what they are soposed to do. When they see that your not backing down after a few days they will fall into line. Renforce your there for them if they are confused on homework and you wont give up till they understand it. Once they get that they only have to sit there and take 15 minutes to get you off their back they will want to get it done asap when they get home
I think you should find a fun and exciting way for them to do there homework. Make it like a game that way they will enjoy it and get through it quicker.
I teach kids this age.



From a teacher's perspective, all the advice here is good. And I'll bet you've probably tried most, if not all, of it.



Definitely talk to the teacher. My guess is that it would be unusual for someone 6 to need homework every day unless there is a problem.



If the child is struggling, negotiate with the teacher a reasonable amount to be done. Sometimes kids will work if the load is reduced. If the child is facing the possibility of repeating a year, the family should decide if that's in the child's best intersest. (I work in a jurisdicition where that almost never happens, but if it's a possiblity where you live, find out what the situation is.)



You'll also have to figure out if the child needs academic help or an attitude adjustment. The teacher will have a take on that. Some kids, especially kids who are the youngest in a family, find it a jolt to be expected to be responsible for their own learning and put up quite a fight. Secretly, they do want to be competent, but they are afraid they'll lose their special place in the family -- that of being waited on hand and foot.



A poll such as this can only give you suggestions. The family and school involved need to work together in the best interest of the child.



Best wishes.

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