Expecting baby #2, how do I deal with jealousy?

I have a 2 year old and expecting #2 in a month. I don't know how I'm gonna deal with the jealousy factor, especially since it's already present with her dad. She is very protective of her time with me and sometimes doesn't like it when he and I are talking or he has something she thinks is mine. We've done everything we can think of to help with how clingy she is, but nothing has worked and with the new baby coming, that is the only thing I'm stressed and worried about. Any ideas?

Expecting baby #2, how do I deal with jealousy?performing show

I just dealth with the same thing, brought my son home from the hospital 3 weeks ago and my 2yr old slapped me and went into the babys room and pulled everything off the shelves and started crying whenever he looked at his brother.

He got over it after a few days, but I found that making them feel usefull really helps, letting them help with the baby etc.

I try to spend as much time with my 2yr old as possible while the baby is asleep, playdoh, cooking etc, and he seems settled and fine.

Dont change the routine of the 2yr old if possible, my days are pretty all over the place but everynight we still make time for him to have a long play in the bath and a story before bed.

Expecting baby #2, how do I deal with jealousy?opera score opera theater

Make the older child your little helper. Send her on errands like bringing you a diaper. And remember to praise her for being such a Big Girl. If you keep her involved she will not feel "neglected" and end up jealous.
Everyone deals with this for at least a little while when they have more than one child. Let her be clingy right now. She knows something big is happening, but she really doesn't understand it. And she won't for a while. My oldest turned 2 a week after I had #2....been there done that.

Let Dad carry the new baby into your house the day you come home from the hospital. Greet your girl and plan on spending some time alone with her. Maybe even purchase a small gift from "baby" to big sister to give her after you get home and get settled.

Each of you should try to spend some alone time with her every day for a while. Even if it is only to take a walk around the block or taking her grocery shopping.

Make sure everything isn't "about the baby" and that guests that come to "see the baby" do not ignore or brush her off. Keep things low key and as stress free as possible for the first few weeks. Expect some "acting out" or "regression" but don't let her "get away" with it. Keep your household rules firm the more things stay the same the more comfortable she will feel. Don't worry, it will all work out! Good luck, best wishes and congrats!!
i was worried about the same thing with my son. He was two also when I had my second. He was very clingy and jealous of me, but when my second son came he was never jealous with the time I had to spend with his brother. He loved being a brother and he would help me when I changed his brothers diapers and clothes and I let him hold his brother, of course I was right there helping him. He really surprised me at how wonderful he was with his little brother. You might not need to worry about it, maybe your daughter will enjoy having another child around. I would just suggest letting her help you out.
i am in the same boat as you are :-). I am 5 months pregnant and have a 3 yr old boy. He is very protective of me and sometimes doesn't even want his dad hugging me. From the time i found out i was pregnant i have been including him in my pregnancy. Everytime i go to the doctor and have gotten my ultrasound he has been in the room and i tell him he is going to be a big brother and that when his little brother gets here they will be able to play cars together. I let him see my stomach so that he can see its growing. He'll sit there and lift my shirt up and talk to the baby. Try to include her is as much as you can so that she doesn't feel left out. I even have him help me out pick out clothes and or just baby stuff i am starting to buy. Be extra attentive, loving, and patient. Just tell her she is going to be a big sister eventually she'll get attached to the little one!
My daughter just turned two when I had my second and this was my major fear! However, when I was pregnant she really liked my belly, she always pointed to her own and said she had a baby too. She'd kiss my belly good night and good morning. When the baby came believe it or not she wasn't jealous! She was thrilled with having a baby sister to kiss and love.

The only time that was truly hard was when I was nursing and she'd be jumping around all over the place. I just had a special video that she loved and turn that on whenever I needed her to settle down and leave me alone. It worked with special toys I only pulled out when nursing.

If you have her involved in your pregnancy and explain to her she's going to have a baby you're half way there to beating the jealousy.

However, any toys that were once my daughters that I put away for the baby ... I could never tell my daughter this used to be yours because she'd snatch whatever it was away and want to play with it. So be very specific as to what's theirs and what's the baby's. Good luck and enjoy!
My kids are almost exactly 24 mo apart and I though my son would have a problem with the new baby but he didn't at all. He adored her and loved her, the jealousy came once she started walking and playing with his toys........she started walking at 9.5 months. Good Luck!
First, congratulations! Second, start now while you are still pregnant. Do things that make the 2 yo feel like she is making the decisions and helping be a big girl. For example, if someone gives you a gift and it is clothes, let her put it in the baby's dresser -- let her pick which drawer it will go in. Or maybe at bedtime (or anytime during the day) say, "how about you help me read to the baby. The baby likes when you and I read to her/him." The more involved you have her feel, the better it will be. I am guessing she is clingy b/c she knows something is going on and that her time with mommy is changing. Kids sense those things. Try not to make too many big changes in her world, she will have enough changes coming..... Hang in there!
It'll be hard at first, but just make sure you make time for your daughter. When you're breastfeeding read your daughter a book or pump some milk so that way you can give your daughter a bath or put her to bed while your partner feeds the baby. When I had my son I gave my daughter a gift "from the baby". She thought that was pretty cool and eventually came around to liking him after a few days. Good luck!
Teach the older sibling how to give the baby a back rub. Tell how this kind of touching calms the baby, and praise the older child for a job well done. This lesson teaches the child how to be physical with the baby in a positive way. Every time you see your child hit, or act roughly with the baby, act quickly. You might firmly announce, “No hitting, time out.” Place the child in a time-out chair with the statement, “You can get up when you can use your hands in the right way.” Allow him to get right up if he wants – as long as he is careful and gentle with the baby. This isn’t punishment, after all. It’s just helping him learn that rough actions aren’t going to be permitted. Whenever you see the older child touching the baby gently, make a positive comment. Make a big fuss about the important “older brother.” Hug and kiss your older child and tell him how proud you are. Don’t blame everything on the baby. “We can’t go to the park; the baby’s sleeping.” “Be quiet, you’ll wake the baby.” “After I change the baby I’ll help you.” At this point, your child would just as soon sell the baby! Instead, use alternate reasons. “My hands are busy now.” “We’ll go after lunch.” “I’ll help you in three minutes.” Increase your little demonstrations of love for your child. Say extra I love yous, increase your daily dose of hugs, and find time to read a book or play a game. Temporary regressions or behavior problems are normal, and can be eased with an extra dose of time and attention.
With the clinginess... I think it's her age. I have a 2 year old and am expecting in early March. It's going to be rough I think... no way around that! :)

It's one of those things that no one can really prepare you (or her) for. Once the baby is here you'll all just have to work out a new schedule and a new routine. Just love the heck out of her and it will all work out.

My son is totally a momma's boy and it's going to be rough sharing I know. But in the long run, I know this new brother or sister will be a real gift for him too.

Good luck to you all!
We had the same worries. Our toddler was 21mo when our newest addition arrived. He did have a bit of jealously but it soon passed. He would cry when I held the baby for feedings and sometimes wouldnt sit next to me if I held the baby. He wouldnt even take pictures with the baby because he didnt want to be next to him. I have heard where some parents will let the toddlers basically be a little helper. Help bathe the baby, getting diapers, help fix a bottle, or pick out clothes for the baby at the store. Get the toddler more into a role as the bigger sibling. A "big helper" as I call my toddler now.
Make your 2 year old a part of whats going on ... have you taken her to the doctor with you when you had a scan? Then they see there's a little human in your tummy. Also, involve them in choosing clothes for the baby. Get one of those baby monitors that you can listen to the noises the baby makes through the headphones and let her listen. Reassure her that nothing is going to change and its going to get more fun around the house. Let her know because she was the first baby she will always be special but you know there are going to be times of jealousy but it is important to spend time with both. But you know it will work out .. as the book says don't sweat the small stuff. Siblings will fight with each other .. I did with my sister like crazy but we are tighter than can be (and I am 39 now!) Good Luck!
Give her an hour every day when the baby is napping, go outside and play with her just give her all your attention for that one hour, and then do saturdays with her, and sundays you can rest wile the dad takes the kids to the park or whatever
Make her feel included. She may not understand it all. Let her go to the Doctors for a heartbeat check up or Ultra Sound. Tell her she can help with getting diapers and picking out baby clothes etc. Even get her a t-shirt that says "I'm the big sister". Just make her feel like you NEED her and her help with the baby. There will be some jealousy issues, but you can help prevent some. Good Luck